Be Honest with Yourself.

I found a blog post I'd written a few months ago; on it, my last statement was "What's holding you back...?" I realized, when I write these posts, I'm writing them to you...but, it's so easy for me to ignore asking myself the very same question. 

Thankfully, someone asked for me this weekend. We had an amazing retreat in Cocoa Beach, FL. Crazy, actually. Crazy love from a crazy family, learning crazy trust through crazy faith.  We had the honor of four keynotes from Dave Skidmore, the campus minister at Park Plaza coC in Tulsa, OK. But, I have come to realize now, the keynotes were from God - and Dave was just trying to be Dave...not "the keynote speaker" or "the campus minister" although he does have those roles.

 

Well, here's the honest truth. I'm not good at being honest, well at least not with myself. Honesty, and I mean true, deep down to the heart and the soul honesty...it hurts. It is everything you don't want to heal from, deal with or change. But, we cannot change or heal what we are unwilling to acknowledge...so...that leaves me personally with denial, stagnancy & complacency. How depressing does that sound?! 

1. What's holding you back?
2. What's it costing you?

3. What are you afraid of?

Three questions. So much impact. We talk so much about counting the cost of baptism. Don't get me wrong here, I know that is something that all new Christians need to understand and accept. But, what about Christians who are walking the faith now? Aren't we to count the cost of what holds us back from being emptied before God to be filled with the good stuff? I know I haven't. Fear has paralyzed me from being able to deal with what's inside of me...but, if I don't love me - I can't give love to others. I can only give what I have, right? So, it was time for me to ante up and deal with it. 

Things change when they are verbalized. When I said out loud all of the things that I was unable to express for so long...I felt something. Something more than just human robot status...I remembered that it's okay to feel. And it's okay for that feeling to be validated and accepted by God. I know that it won't happen overnight; the process is continual - but at least I've gotten started.

So...this is my moment, and I own it. 

I'm done being "grad school Lauren" and "FB Lauren" and "Student Intern Lauren" and "Leader Lauren" and whatever hat someone has put on my head, whatever role they carved out for me. Instead, I desire restoration...to just...be me again. To be a follower of Christ. When me is enough, God is going to do amazing things in, through and around me...and it's not because I think highly of myself. It's because I think highly of my God.

How would it feel to be free of the burdens of our tasks and roles - and own who we are created to be in God's image, knit together before we even knew us, by the God who created the universe?  He creates something, and he fills it. I want to be filled with Him.

Own your life...not the life that others want for you. Own your title...we are sons and daughters of the Most High.

What could you do if you knew God would always show up for you? I know I can be a world changer.

Change yourself, and change the world.