11.17.2011

Fear Factor.

Let me be somewhat transparent for a moment. These four weeks have been tough...I have been getting real with everything I never realized about myself before. I've dug deep and wide inside my heart and my soul to try and understand exactly how I got to where I am today, in this moment. The search by the way - it's far, far from over. Is it terrifying? Yes. Is it eye opening, yes. Is it difficult? YES.

I've learned something so far, though; we let fear define us, instead of being defined by faith. Think back, how many times in the past month have you done, or not done something because of fear? It doesn't matter if you feared success, or you feared failure, or if you feared being wrong or you feared being right.  Any way you spin it, you are afraid.  That fear factor has a way of making us uncomfortable. We fear, fear. So instead of facing  fear and doing something that might make us get outside of our cozy little corner and fight for our lives, we back down and pull the covers over our eyes, expecting the result when we emerge to be something drastically different. It won't be. There is no intentional desire in any of this.

When I realized this about my life, I hit my knees in prayer. I'll admit, I don't pray on my knees as often as I should, but let me tell you - it might be one of the most vulnerable positions I have ever been in.  However, it is quite possibly the only way we will be capable of standing strong.  So many times before, I would pray a sincere but lackluster prayer and ask God to move in my life. The result of that would be: God moving and me standing still as if He was supposed to do something for me. This time - when I prayed, I prayed. I asked God to move me for what moves Him. When I got an answer to that prayer - or several probable answers...I was rendered speechless.

The answer to my prayers became increasingly clear, but the question became - do I trust his directions? Do I believe in changing my life for the better, no matter what He says the cost is? Instead of expecting God to move me, God is expecting me to move! What a concept, right? I won't specify the details just yet [After all, want you to come back and read another post, right? (; ], but what He is asking me to do is to get out from underneath my cozy familiar covers, out from my comfortable little corner and actually change and grow.

Choosing to do what is uncomfortable is not the popular route. It is scary, it is difficult, it is uncertain and ultimately, it will lead to change, which, we refuse to do because we let fear become bigger than our faith. Don't let fear overcome your life - choose to overcome fear.  Don't just pray - be intentional about your prayer and actively seek out the open doors that might present themselves because of it. Embrace change - it just might change your life. It is in my life, for sure.

I encourage you to really ask God to show you what is holding you back from the fullness of life you are meant to live (John 10:10). Don't let fear be a factor for you.

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