I want to talk about transition. It's an ever-occurring theme of my life right now...graduating from USF, beginning coursework at Harding's Center for Advanced Ministry Training, my job, the search for a new apartment and place to call home, even a new chapter in ministry in CIA Tampa with Randy & Yvonne - it is all transitional.
More about my new journey through Harding at the CAMT, though.
In Colossians 3:22-24 we read:
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
I see two things here. First, what we do has to be in sincerity of heart and reverence. The second thing and I see as most important is in verse 23. Work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men; sometimes in life you might agree that it becomes a task-oriented to-do list...even going to school.
But, I stepped back and said, you know - it's going to cost time, and money and energy & more brainpower that, after 16 years in school - I don't know if I have left! Funny thing is - that's not the purpose of the program; I'm going [back to] school and allowing that experience to mold me for more work in the Lord's Kingdom - to work for Him. All of these variable inputs are nothing compared to the output of a greater mission...even if it means more college. :)
Another thing about sincerity and reverence...flip to 2 Corinthians 2:
15 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16 To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? 17 Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.
You can read this for yourself -- some are saved, and the rest are perishing...to one, we bring an aroma of death, the other, life. Think about the transitions in your life today -- are they leading you closer to Him and His purpose? Which aroma should we be as Christians and, the work that we are doing today -- is it to please men, or to please the Lord?
At the end of it all - for me, I want to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant." Do I think I'm going to do so perfectly? Ha, absolutely not! But, if I'm going in the same direction Jesus is, I think I've got a right idea. I am excited to start this new journey - to be able to gain practical ministry skills with Randy & CIA Tampa; I am even more excited about what my future might hold in the way of Campus Ministry and being effective in that mission field - one that changed my life - see My Story for more about that. I also hope to work closely with Lynn Stringfellow & CMU to help change the lives of others as I progress through this process.
Final Thoughts:
Transition is a part of life - in fact, I think that life is one big series of transitions...but, as I said in my Mission Trip post, someone wise reminded me - Jesus is never transitional; so, stop looking around and start to look up.
Grace Upon Grace
6.30.2011
6.21.2011
Mission Trip '11: Faithbook - Connect, for Real.
Man. What a crazy two weeks it has been! I just got home from a Mission Trip with inner city kids from Norman/Tulsa, OK. To be entirely honest, there are a lot of things that transpired before the trip that made me reluctant, scared and just plain resistant to go. But, I went. Here's the shortened condensed version.
Our Mission Team from Tampa, Corpus and Miami all arrived at camp Saturday and had the evening to prepare things for the kids. We had communion Sunday morning and the kids arrived at 4:30 in the afternoon; Man, what a crazy week; we deal with attitudes, homesickness, and many other "typical" problems, but then, Tuesday hit. We got pelted with a big hailstorm that scared a lot of the campers, and looking back, some of us counselors who have never experienced that! Turns out, a big tornado that knocked out power to thousands jumped over us and hit all around us...praise God that He watched over us during that. We lost power for a little less then a day, but what astounded me is the positive attitudes throughout the heat, lack of running water, bathroom conditions and just plain "annoying" situation. By Thursday, I got to study with three precious girls, and many other counselors studied with several others; we had four baptisms at camp that I recall and three more at Contact Church on Sunday, and one of our Mission Team counselors also was baptized at the Lake (I just got the text message!)
The counselors, those kids, the weather and the difficulty of camp itself tried my patience, my attitude, and my humility, but by Friday when we had to send the kids back home, I got very emotional for a few of my girls. It's very difficult to build bonds in just four and a half days, but God allows it to happen...and it rips your heart open to see them commit to Christ, to love, to laugh and to just be kids for a week at the end of it all. I am forever changed...it is all LOVE.
Not only did the Spirit work in the Mission Team to give life to the kids, but, the kids gave life to us, too. I could write a short novel or fill my blog with post after post about my experience at camp, but all I can say is that I came home with the perspective that the Spirit gives life continuously. If I can make it through camp, then all of the tough life choices I have are not tough at all. I have the answer now...it doesn't matter that I don't know where I am moving, what job I will have or what will happen with my Master's Degree because the answer is the road(s) that will lead me closer to God. :) He already has the plans, I just don't know them yet. Everything around me has been transitional, but thanks to Clint's gentle reminder, Jesus is never transitional. If we are to look up to Jesus, then we never have to fear what comes next. Will we? Sure, it's human nature, but how relieving to know we don't have to fear!
We also got to see Lynn & Carol's house and it provided for me at least, some much needed closure to see that they are not as far away as it seems; they may be far in distance, but never in heart. I know that God blessed them in an incredible way with that house, and that they will use it to glorify Him even further. Their example is one that teaches me that walking in Faith allows us the freedom to believe that God will always provide for our needs. Afterwards, we headed to Lake Tenkiller for some traditional detox R&R and Big Daddy's! Being out on the boat, I opened my Bible and started reading 2 Corinthians...the first chapter tells us that He is the God of all comfort, and through Him it overflows. How comforting it was to sit and feel the sun, and hear the wind and just be still. It was beautiful there; I'll add a picture soon...God's natural creation is so incredibly peaceful and gorgeous.
I am exhausted, but ironically, so very refreshed and renewed.
This week, I had to display all of these things to those children:
Love,
Joy,
Peace,
Patience,
Kindness,
Goodness,
Faithfulness,
Gentleness,
and Self-Control.
But, in turn, I also received those blessings in my life through them, through bonding with the Mission Team and through His grace and Spirit speaking to my heart. Against these such things, there is no law -- and no end to how many blessings they bring when we allow them to work in and around us.
Next on the agenda: on the road again for Searcy, (oh I'm sorry, "Seercy")in two weeks for the CMU Workshop -- Passing the Torch and Getting Lit! Excited and looking forward to growing more in ministerial leadership and learning yet again from some very wise souls.
God is Good. :)
Our Mission Team from Tampa, Corpus and Miami all arrived at camp Saturday and had the evening to prepare things for the kids. We had communion Sunday morning and the kids arrived at 4:30 in the afternoon; Man, what a crazy week; we deal with attitudes, homesickness, and many other "typical" problems, but then, Tuesday hit. We got pelted with a big hailstorm that scared a lot of the campers, and looking back, some of us counselors who have never experienced that! Turns out, a big tornado that knocked out power to thousands jumped over us and hit all around us...praise God that He watched over us during that. We lost power for a little less then a day, but what astounded me is the positive attitudes throughout the heat, lack of running water, bathroom conditions and just plain "annoying" situation. By Thursday, I got to study with three precious girls, and many other counselors studied with several others; we had four baptisms at camp that I recall and three more at Contact Church on Sunday, and one of our Mission Team counselors also was baptized at the Lake (I just got the text message!)
The counselors, those kids, the weather and the difficulty of camp itself tried my patience, my attitude, and my humility, but by Friday when we had to send the kids back home, I got very emotional for a few of my girls. It's very difficult to build bonds in just four and a half days, but God allows it to happen...and it rips your heart open to see them commit to Christ, to love, to laugh and to just be kids for a week at the end of it all. I am forever changed...it is all LOVE.
2 Corinthians 3:3-6 - You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Not only did the Spirit work in the Mission Team to give life to the kids, but, the kids gave life to us, too. I could write a short novel or fill my blog with post after post about my experience at camp, but all I can say is that I came home with the perspective that the Spirit gives life continuously. If I can make it through camp, then all of the tough life choices I have are not tough at all. I have the answer now...it doesn't matter that I don't know where I am moving, what job I will have or what will happen with my Master's Degree because the answer is the road(s) that will lead me closer to God. :) He already has the plans, I just don't know them yet. Everything around me has been transitional, but thanks to Clint's gentle reminder, Jesus is never transitional. If we are to look up to Jesus, then we never have to fear what comes next. Will we? Sure, it's human nature, but how relieving to know we don't have to fear!
We also got to see Lynn & Carol's house and it provided for me at least, some much needed closure to see that they are not as far away as it seems; they may be far in distance, but never in heart. I know that God blessed them in an incredible way with that house, and that they will use it to glorify Him even further. Their example is one that teaches me that walking in Faith allows us the freedom to believe that God will always provide for our needs. Afterwards, we headed to Lake Tenkiller for some traditional detox R&R and Big Daddy's! Being out on the boat, I opened my Bible and started reading 2 Corinthians...the first chapter tells us that He is the God of all comfort, and through Him it overflows. How comforting it was to sit and feel the sun, and hear the wind and just be still. It was beautiful there; I'll add a picture soon...God's natural creation is so incredibly peaceful and gorgeous.
I am exhausted, but ironically, so very refreshed and renewed.
This week, I had to display all of these things to those children:
Love,
Joy,
Peace,
Patience,
Kindness,
Goodness,
Faithfulness,
Gentleness,
and Self-Control.
But, in turn, I also received those blessings in my life through them, through bonding with the Mission Team and through His grace and Spirit speaking to my heart. Against these such things, there is no law -- and no end to how many blessings they bring when we allow them to work in and around us.
Next on the agenda: on the road again for Searcy, (oh I'm sorry, "Seercy")in two weeks for the CMU Workshop -- Passing the Torch and Getting Lit! Excited and looking forward to growing more in ministerial leadership and learning yet again from some very wise souls.
God is Good. :)
5.29.2011
Dazed but, not Confused.
You know, over the past month, I forgot this thing existed; life has gotten the better of me - graduation, summer classes and the "trying-to-figure-out-how-to-be-an-adult" phase. Scary.
But, I've learned something. Faith is not a place. Faith is not one group of people. Faith is not one church. Faith is not definitive. But, faith must be our own and not that of someone else's. I think what I have realized the most over the past few weeks is a little life mantra I should start living by.
Life goes on.
My grandfather's passing is still internally difficult to cope with, but life goes on.
I graduated, but I am still stuck in one summer class, and life goes on.
So, I have to pay back student loans, and I only work part time, life goes on...
And you get the picture - no matter the circumstance, the problem or the joy, life goes on - time does not stop. And God, who is almighty and powerful is there for every step, every stumble and every "aha" moment, so we needn't be afraid of failure or inconsistency in life. Nothing in life is constant except for God, and time.
So, I'm at a crossroads, and I've been praying about it. In the end, whatever I do, wherever I'm going and whoever it's with - as long as I love God, remember what he taught me and know that I have a whole life ahead of me, who cares what happens? (James 1:25) People will have opinions, I will have opinions. Sometimes, the greatest lessons are learned by taking the path less trodden by others.
So, as a tribute to Jason Aldean - "She's okay not knowin' who she is or where she's goin' cause she's young...and the world, it's wide open." <3
But, I've learned something. Faith is not a place. Faith is not one group of people. Faith is not one church. Faith is not definitive. But, faith must be our own and not that of someone else's. I think what I have realized the most over the past few weeks is a little life mantra I should start living by.
Life goes on.
My grandfather's passing is still internally difficult to cope with, but life goes on.
I graduated, but I am still stuck in one summer class, and life goes on.
So, I have to pay back student loans, and I only work part time, life goes on...
And you get the picture - no matter the circumstance, the problem or the joy, life goes on - time does not stop. And God, who is almighty and powerful is there for every step, every stumble and every "aha" moment, so we needn't be afraid of failure or inconsistency in life. Nothing in life is constant except for God, and time.
So, I'm at a crossroads, and I've been praying about it. In the end, whatever I do, wherever I'm going and whoever it's with - as long as I love God, remember what he taught me and know that I have a whole life ahead of me, who cares what happens? (James 1:25) People will have opinions, I will have opinions. Sometimes, the greatest lessons are learned by taking the path less trodden by others.
So, as a tribute to Jason Aldean - "She's okay not knowin' who she is or where she's goin' cause she's young...and the world, it's wide open." <3
4.22.2011
Dazed and Confused.
You know those times when you just feel like you're not you...? Like you're walking around watching your life happen from behind a glass, but feeling immobile and incapable of actually changing it? That's how I feel. This past week, and the few to come have tested my emotional capacity in a way I didn't think existed. My grandfather passed away last Wednesday, on the 13th. At least it wasn't a Friday. (Not that I believe in superstition, but, ya know). Anyways, you know that saying "Two things in life are certain, death and taxes." Ironically, my grandpa passed away while going to get his taxes filed...
Funny, right?
Humor is honestly the only way I kept from losing it when I found out -- although, I eventually did lose it. Anyways, there are a lot of feelings that go along with the grieving process; for me, it's guilt for not going to see him three weeks ago when he was in Florida, assuming I would see him this summer, and now, knowing that I will never get that chance. I felt overwhelmed, confused, but understanding of his age and health condition. I felt extreme sadness because he was my last and only living grandparent I ever knew. I felt loss, hurt, you name it. But, funny enough, I was angry. I was angry at myself -- knowing full well it wasn't my fault, and angry at God when I had no right to be. I selfishly wanted him back because I wasn't ready to let him go just yet. I didn't consider that in Heaven he is now rid of his pain, made perfect and healthy again, and joyful - that dry humor, story telling funny guy the five year old in me so vividly recalls.
Anyways, the point of me telling you this little anecdote is this.
Grieving is part of being human. God created it, just as he created things that bring us joy, but He, the creator of everything can turn our mourning into dancing, and sorrow into joy...and He never leaves us. So, even though I had to sacrifice financially to fly up north for his memorial, and I am stressed about leaving the weekend before a final that I have to pass for a class I have taken twice, and I am afraid of feeling too much, or feeling nothing at all...he is with me, never to forsake me.
I have written tidbits of many verses in here, and Colossians 1:29 - I labor with all of His energy which so powerfully works within me...yeah, I have finals coming up, I have a job, responsibilities and commitments and sometimes, I feel like little me, one person, cannot possibly do it all. But it's His energy that works in us, not our own...working on your own will is like trying to drive a car without a battery. You're not going to get very far. Life brings us hard times, but it's what we choose to do with them, how we respond and who we choose to trust and lean on (God!) that determines the power to get back up and keep going when all we want to do is eat several pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream while subsequently watching movies with Ben and "Gerry" (Barnes and Butler). That one's for you, Katie. =)
If you're experiencing a life hardship or loss, know that He is not walking beside you because He is carrying you. He never left; if you feel abandoned by God, it's not God who walked away, it is you.
A tribute to the man who taught me about the greatest command by living it: love one another as Christ loves you.
Love you, Grandpa...I promise, this is only goodbye for now. Save me a spot in that mansion up there, right next to you. I bet you're already watching game show network =)
Funny, right?
Humor is honestly the only way I kept from losing it when I found out -- although, I eventually did lose it. Anyways, there are a lot of feelings that go along with the grieving process; for me, it's guilt for not going to see him three weeks ago when he was in Florida, assuming I would see him this summer, and now, knowing that I will never get that chance. I felt overwhelmed, confused, but understanding of his age and health condition. I felt extreme sadness because he was my last and only living grandparent I ever knew. I felt loss, hurt, you name it. But, funny enough, I was angry. I was angry at myself -- knowing full well it wasn't my fault, and angry at God when I had no right to be. I selfishly wanted him back because I wasn't ready to let him go just yet. I didn't consider that in Heaven he is now rid of his pain, made perfect and healthy again, and joyful - that dry humor, story telling funny guy the five year old in me so vividly recalls.
Anyways, the point of me telling you this little anecdote is this.
Grieving is part of being human. God created it, just as he created things that bring us joy, but He, the creator of everything can turn our mourning into dancing, and sorrow into joy...and He never leaves us. So, even though I had to sacrifice financially to fly up north for his memorial, and I am stressed about leaving the weekend before a final that I have to pass for a class I have taken twice, and I am afraid of feeling too much, or feeling nothing at all...he is with me, never to forsake me.
I have written tidbits of many verses in here, and Colossians 1:29 - I labor with all of His energy which so powerfully works within me...yeah, I have finals coming up, I have a job, responsibilities and commitments and sometimes, I feel like little me, one person, cannot possibly do it all. But it's His energy that works in us, not our own...working on your own will is like trying to drive a car without a battery. You're not going to get very far. Life brings us hard times, but it's what we choose to do with them, how we respond and who we choose to trust and lean on (God!) that determines the power to get back up and keep going when all we want to do is eat several pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream while subsequently watching movies with Ben and "Gerry" (Barnes and Butler). That one's for you, Katie. =)
If you're experiencing a life hardship or loss, know that He is not walking beside you because He is carrying you. He never left; if you feel abandoned by God, it's not God who walked away, it is you.
A tribute to the man who taught me about the greatest command by living it: love one another as Christ loves you.
Love you, Grandpa...I promise, this is only goodbye for now. Save me a spot in that mansion up there, right next to you. I bet you're already watching game show network =)
4.12.2011
Plundered Plans or Prosperous Alternatives?
"They say, if you wanna make God laugh, all you've gotta do is tell Him your plans." - Clay Aiken
-------
It's funny. People keep asking me the same question over and over again lately...what do you want to do when you finish college? What are you doing with your life? What are your career plans? What about the future...? What do you want to be when you get older? -- Okay, hold the phone. Older? I feel like I'm five years old and people expect me to respond with "doctor/surgeon," "lawyer," "firefighter" or any other cool stereotype.
What I want, honestly is to not be faced with knowing what the future holds. Walls are concrete objects, tangible and touchable. My future is not quite so - it's an idea, a concept...something I am striving to become or to achieve. Right now, though the good news is that I can do exactly what I want to do and figure it out as I go along. What you have to understand about me saying that is that I am a planner; as laid back as I can be, I need to know exactly what's happening, when and why it will take place and what part I play in that situation. I worry about little things, but, I don't worry about my future...you see, God has that all planned out for me.
Okay, so I know some of you are probably reading this going...well, I'm going to stop reading because this is about to become a post about God. Well, sorry, no consolation here, friends. I warned you. You see, that's just it. God is the goal, God is the future. For all of you who keep nagging me about what I want to do in life, that's easy. Glorify God. What I want to be when I get older, you say? Well, here's the answer. God is what I want to be like when I get older.
Okay, so I know some of you are probably reading this going...well, I'm going to stop reading because this is about to become a post about God. Well, sorry, no consolation here, friends. I warned you. You see, that's just it. God is the goal, God is the future. For all of you who keep nagging me about what I want to do in life, that's easy. Glorify God. What I want to be when I get older, you say? Well, here's the answer. God is what I want to be like when I get older.
To be honest, I hope you read the rest of what I have to say if you stopped here...when I heard this, it began to change my life.
Jeremiah 29:11-14For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.
See, I don't know what I am doing. I know that I am graduating in May, finishing my undergraduate/Bachelor's Degree in August and then Lord willing, getting a Master's Degree in Ministry. See, that is God's plan. I know this because I know the person I used to be...and I know she would have NEVER agreed to any of this given the choice. This isn't the life I ever envisioned for myself. I wanted to be married, have started a family and settle by the time I graduated from college. To top it off, I probably would have worked in some mediocre 9-5 job not really making a true difference. Well, since all that isn't happening, clearly Someone had better plans - ones that made a whole lot more sense, and it wasn't me. See, I talked about being a child earlier - and we are God's children, so when we seek him wholeheartedly, he makes the game of hide and seek easy - he leaves breadcrumbs, because he wants us to find him! He even represents the light! God isn't going to go hide in some dark, musty clothes closet. That's just not who He is.
So, I don't know where the wind may blow me two years from now, and what God has in store, but I do know two other things. This peace of being uncertain - that comes by FAITH STEPS, and it's not easy, but it is so rewarding.
Secondly, I'll leave you with a thought - could we ever truly know for certain where the wind will blow us? Can we predict that accurately 100% of the time? Can we tell it where to go?...I don't think it listens very well....so...here's my "Food for Thought."
FOOD FOR THOUGHT (John 4:32):
John 3:8The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
Let the Spirit inside of you lead you to the answers no matter what life brings, even in transition. And if you don't have the Spirit inside of you...what are you waiting for? :)
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